Parashat Vayishlach 5786

by Rabbi Margie Cella

Jacob started preparing to meet Esau. He sent messengers to let Esau know that he was coming. They returned saying that Esau was on his way, accompanied by 400 men. Frightened, Jacob separated his family and flocks into two camps, hoping that at least one would be able to escape Esau’s wrath, then prayed to God for protection.

After sending servants ahead with gifts for Esau, Jacob separated himself from his family. A man (or an angel?) came and wrestled with Jacob all night. Before departing in the morning, he changed Jacob’s name to Israel.

When Jacob finally reunited with his brother, Esau embraced and kissed him. Together, they wept. Esau then refused Jacob’s gifts, saying that he had enough. Then he said to Jacob, “Let what you have remain yours.” [33:9] Most scholars feel that with this statement, Esau was finally acknowledging that the birthright belonged to Jacob. After this the brothers parted ways, Esau returning to Seir and Jacob to Succot, on his way back to Canaan.

Though the brothers reconciled, it does not appear that they maintained a close relationship. Being able to forgive someone whom you feel wronged you in some way is not an easy thing to do. Harboring a grudge may be easier but it is never good for one’s soul. Carrying around hate and anger makes it difficult to be genuinely happy and hampers one’s personal growth.

We read later in the parashah that when Isaac died, Jacob and Esau came together once again to bury him [35:29]. They both came to honor their father; after that, we do not have any evidence of the brothers ever again having any direct communication.

Oseh Shalom, Maker of Peace, help us forgive those who have wronged us—for their sake and for our own.