A Life Cycle Event: Coming Of Age

By Linda Klempner, WLCJ International Vice President and Patron/Scholarship Patron Chair

As I was preparing to retire from teaching I began to form a bucket list of projects I wanted to accomplish. Number one on the list was to become a Bat Mitzvah. A Bat Mitzvah is a coming of age but it did not happen for girls until 1922 As the ceremony has become more accepted for females as well as males, many women choose to have the ceremony even though they are much older as a way of formalizing and celebrating their place in the Jewish community.

I received a notice from Park Avenue Synagogue that Hazzan Nancy Abramson and Rabbi Julia Adelman were forming an adult Bat Mitzvah class. I shared my excitement with my mother, who said, “Wonderful, do it while I’m still here!” I went to Hazzan Abramson’s office to sign up. She responded that unfortunately, the class was full as she planned for 12. I told her of my mother’s response. But I said it’s okay. I will do it next time. When I arrived home to my surprise I had an email from Hazzan Abramson – she expanded the class to 13. I WAS IN!

Few events move us as much as life cycle events. They are unique moments in our lives that fill us with personal, spiritual, and communal meaning. When we spend time and energy preparing for them, they have the power to affect our lives in lasting and transformative ways.

We were 13 women from diverse walks of Jewish life, at different stages in our personal journeys. We met every Wednesday night taking time away from our personal and professional obligations to develop spiritually, and to strengthen our commitment to Jewish growth and learning as adults, and to bond as a holy community. Together we explored Jewish issues from the unique perspective of American women in the twenty-first century. Our learning focused both on struggling with issues and text, and developing synagogue skills to chant confidently from the Park Avenue Synagogue bimah.

The highlight of the year was a transformative Shabbat retreat in April, attended by all except one woman who was celebrating the Bat Mitzvah of her own granddaughter at Park Avenue Synagogue that weekend. Hazzan Nancy Abramson came through the front door carrying a Torah she borrowed from Park Avenue Synagogue. Each woman had the opportunity to practice reading and chanting their Torah portion. The only thing we were asked to bring were candlesticks to light on Friday night erev Shabbat. I brought the candlesticks my Grandmother, Bubby, gave me on my thirteenth birthday. We formed a circle around the table of candles covering our eyes and all together recited the prayer. I learned so much from these women over the course of the year and I will treasure this experience for the rest of my professional and religious life.

On June 11, 2011 the Parashat was Beha’alotcha; I was assigned the first aliyah. Hazzan Abramson and Rabbi Adelman encouraged the class in our discussions to wear a tallit. The class had a guest speaker, a woman who made tallitot and explained all the rituals. A congregant offered me the use of her tallit which she purchased in Israel. Although that was a generous offer, I wanted to have my own, I immediately called my mother asking if she would like to go with me to purchase my tallit. We drove to a Judaica store in Westchester (N.Y.) where a lovely lady assisted me in selecting my tallit which my mother bought for me as a present. Park Avenue Synagogue has a tallit bag on the bimah for women who do not have their own tallit.

When June 11 arrived I was excited and proud to be standing on the Park Avenue Synagogue bimah as a Bat Mitzvah. I had rehearsed my Torah portion and felt confident. I looked down at the first row and there was my mother. I knew how proud she was from the smile on her face. My mother was my best friend. I always felt she wanted the best for me and guided me throughout my life. As I began chanting the Torah portion I felt like the tallit was my mother’s arms hugging me.

There is a saying in Judaism, L’Dor V’Dor which literally means “from generation to generation.” Typically, it is understood to mean values, rituals, traditions and history of the next generation. My mother was a member of Women’s League For Conservative Judaism. One day when at her apartment I looked into a closet and saw a white box on the shelf. I was curious and opened it up and found it contained all of my mother’s Torah Fund pins. I took it home where it now sits in the closet next to my box of Torah Fund pins: L’Dor V’Dor. When L’Dor V’Dor is sung at the end of the Kedushah prayer on Shabbat tears still well up in my eyes. My mother passed away June 18, 2019 at the age of 104 1/2. I had inscribed on her headstone L’Dor V’ Dor.

As I sit in Shabbat services each week, I feel so connected to all the young ladies who are on the bimah for their Bat Mitzvah services. Even though I didn’t have the opportunity when I was 13, generational changes thankfully afforded it to me later.

Shabbat Shalom,
Linda

Linda Klempner
lklempner@wlcj.org
WLCJ International Vice President and Patron/Scholarship Patron Chair