The Stranger Among Us

By Julia Loeb, WLCJ International President

I’ve been thinking a lot about strangers lately. Maybe it is because we are reading the Exodus story where the prophesy made to Abraham–that his descendants will be strangers in a foreign land–has been fulfilled. Now the Israelites have crossed the Reed Sea and are standing at the foot of Sinai to receive the Torah. Next week we read Mishpatim where one of the laws enumerated is that we should not “ill-treat a stranger or oppress him for [we] were strangers in Egypt.” Or maybe it is because the news is filled concerns about “strangers” here in the U.S. and abroad (including about those who want to treat Jews as strangers who do not belong in Israel).

I wanted to share two stories that I read recently about how to treat and respect those oft-ignored strangers in our everyday lives. The first is from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’’l, the former Chief Rabbi of Great Britain. He tells of how he often hosted dinner parties for dignitaries within and outside the Jewish community. At the end of the dinners, the guests often came up to him and his wife to thank their hosts, but one guest asked to be allowed to go into the kitchen to thank those who made and served his meal. This guest was John Major, a former British Prime Minister. 

The second story comes from Walter Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab. He talks about one of the important lessons he learned in a business strategy course in college. He had spent many hours studying for the final exam so that he could maintain his 4.0 average. When he arrived at the exam, the professor handed out a single piece of paper face down. When they were allowed to do so, the students turned the paper over. The other side was blank too. The professor said, “I’ve taught you everything I can teach you about business in the last 10 weeks, but the most important message, the most important question, is this: What’s the name of the lady who cleans this building?”

This was the only exam Mr. Bettinger ever failed. The name of the cleaning woman was Dottie. He had seen her many times but had never taken the time to ask her name. He concludes his story with the lesson he learned: “It was just a great reminder of what really matters in life, and that you should never lose sight of people who do the real work.”

Are there any “Dotties” in your community, your Sisterhood? Do you know the name of the custodian or security guard at your synagogue? The barista at Starbucks who serves you coffee? The woman who comes to Shabbat services and sits by herself in the last row? Often, as the saying goes, strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.

I have been traveling the past few weeks and have met with members of our Sisterhood affiliates in Massachusetts and Connecticut and the East and West coasts of Florida. At each stop, I met many women whom I had never met before, but then became friends. Each stop involved much planning and organization and I so appreciate all the dedicated, kind women who made that happen.

On Sunday afternoon, 27 Women’s League members walked into B’nai Torah Congregation in Boca Raton, Florida for our first Leadership Institute in four years. Many of them were strangers at the beginning, but by the time they left on Tuesday, they had a strong bond and were planning how to stay connected and when they could see each other again. 

Strangers are just friends you haven’t met yet.

Take some time this week to get to know some of these people that you see every day who work hard to make your life easier and take some time to make a friend out of a stranger.

Shabbat Shalom!

Julia Loeb
WLCJ International President
jloeb@wlcj.org