I truly am my brother’s keeper

By Margie Miller, Immediate Past International President

Having taught Hebrew school for many years, I obviously retold the story of Cain and Abel, introducing the children to the literal meaning of that question. ”Where is your brother?” asked God and Cain replied “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

As adults we know that simple question is not just about the literal meaning, but it’s greater interpretation can transform mankind. Are we responsible for each other? Where does that obligation begin and end? During the current crisis in Ukraine, I assume many of us are asking that same question daily.

This past week I’ve been dealing with the death of my brother, Andrew, who had no other family members other than me. I truly am my brother’s keeper. I guess quite frankly I always have been. For close to 20 years there was nobody else to do well check ins. For close to 20 years questions and answers were avoided, as if one day there would be magical solutions to all life ending plans and concerns.

We all know people who have family members with dementia. They often question why they need to visit when their loved one doesn’t know who they are. The answer to me has always been clear… you know who they are!

My brother was healthy and well but mostly a recluse. He chose to live for over 50 years in the home we grew up in. By not answering my phone calls, by not responding to my outreach, he would tease me every month or so when I would go knock on the door and he would come out to the street and talk with me for five minutes perhaps. He didn’t seem to want me to visit but I guess he always knew I would keep coming back. Because no matter what he wanted, I knew I had an obligation to make sure he was safe. I knew there was nobody else. I knew that indeed I am and was my brother’s keeper.

My brother was bright and had so much potential, he was witty and inquisitive. He had so many talents and possibilities. I mourn his lost opportunities. I’m mourn a man who could’ve had such a different quality of life.

This week, not only have I reaffirmed my sisterly duties, but all of you have reaffirmed your commitment to sharing the burden of caring for each other with every call, every card, attending the zoom shiva, and the hundreds of virtual hugs. We/you are as much as “our sister’s keepers” as I have literally been my brother’s.

Shabbat Shalom,

Margie

Margie Miller

WLCJ Immediate Past International President

mmiller@wlcj.org